My dearest William
It has been a long time since I truly felt I belonged here. It isn’t that I am overly concerned about the responsibilities that should hold me, but rather the duty I feel pulling me outward and onward. I do love you, dear William, and I cherish you and our son Levi, but I cannot give you the love and attention you both deserve as I am.
Perhaps it was never finding my dear friend. I worry as I write this to you, that my last sentence will pain you and I am sorry for that. I never was able to help you fully reconcile with him. I know that. We had so many good years clinging to each other after and I love how you helped me be strong when the Meadow needed me. So perhaps it has nothing to do with Silver.
Perhaps it is simply the pent-up frustration of never finding Klis, the last of Nis’s true minions. She still lives and her memory and the pain she caused our people cling to me. I cannot escape her. She has not been brought to justice and found guilty!
I am full of hate for her, William! Can you not see how it is eating me up inside? How have I become this person who only lives to see another person suffer? I do not know. When I close my eyes to sleep, all I can see is her face laughing at me.
Oh, how cruel was Nis! To create a woman that looks just like me! So much so that even our people whispered that she must be related to me. The shame those whispers brought me! How could that woman be my sister? Sara would turn in her grave to know she was compared with that woman! No. No one in my family could ever be so evil!
I have to go. Please forgive me. Please understand. I cannot live while she is free. I cannot be at peace. I cannot love you as you should be loved. I cannot.
You are patient and kind to me, William. You have always been my best friend and my greatest advisor. You will lead our people well, as they need. You will raise Levi well in my absence.
It will not be forever. I will return, either with Klis’s head or herself ready for judgment. I do not know where she is, I do not know how long I will be, but I must go.
If you cannot understand my anger, perhaps you will understand my anguish. You know that I walked with Nailan throughout my childhood and even after the Battle for the Meadow. You know that he came and we gardened together, making the trees bloom and the orchard healthy. You know this.
I I cannot I have not Nailan has not come visit me in the last seven years. How hard are those words to write! I have not spent time with my creator in seven years, William! All because of her. I must find her. I must bring her to justice either by my hand or the court here! Nailan will not come to me until it is done. That must be the reason he is staying away!
I love you, William. I love Levi. I know I said I would think about it again in the morning, but I have to go. Our last night together before my journey was memorable and I will think of you often on my way. Please do not hate what I have become.
I love you.
Your wife, your Silk.
I will return.